Hi Adrienne,
Wow! I've never had a review like yours before. However, we do take customer feedback very seriously so I will try to respond to each of your points in good faith.
I know about the bedside lampshades in the twin beds room. Unfortunately, the children of the guests immediately before broke both of them. I was a bit heartbroken about this as they were unique - glass tubes that were graded from deep orange up to yellow that looked amazing when lit. Sandra, our caretaker, spent some days trying to replace an exact match but unfortunately this has not been possible. The new lampshades are similar but not as special as the ones before.
Coffee table in kitchen? We don't have one, so I'm not sure what you mean by this.
All quilts on the beds are new last year. These are all kept in the linen cupboards in the main hall. Perhaps you got mixed up and used the old spare quilts which we've hung onto tucked away in a cupboard (just in case people feel they want two quilts on their bed in winter)? Nobody has used these in years, especially since we had the new heating system installed. I know in summer Sandra often makes up the beds with just the sheets and duvet covers but she should have told you where to find the correct duvets if you felt you needed one. However, I will tell her to give the old quilts a wash just in case future guests make the same mistake.
Regarding the shower seal, thank you. This was replaced last year when I had to buy this as a spare part in England. Fortunately I bought two at the same time, so I'll get Victor the handyman to look at whether it needs replacing again.
Regarding the sunloungers, thank you. These, too, are only one year old. I'll get Sandra, our caretaker, to check on their condition.
I'm always careful to tell people the roof space is shared with one set of neighbours. We have the larger side of the roof for our use, but until now our neighbours have been fine if guests wander over to drink in the full view of the harbour. I'm a bit disturbed anyone only "allowed to peek at the view briefly" and will investigate. Yes, the apartment is in a residential area but it is generally very quiet. I've never heard of 5am traffic to the car park around the corner. Again, I'll ask Sandra if there has been any special activity in the locality recently that I don't know about.
Thanks for all your feedback. I have taken it on board and will set about fixing whatever elements it's in my power to fix.